.:Improving Your Time Online:.

Hi, I've been on the internet for most of my life, and I was primarily using it for social media since I was around 12. I was also VERY miserable, but now I've been slightly less miserable it's kinda hard not to feel like shit in times like this... since I've deactivated pretty much every social media account I've had except for Discord though I have been back on Tumblr as of late now that I know what I'm doing. If you're here, you're probably a social media user and you hate it, but you really don't want to leave just yet, or maybe you need to have one for their job or something like that. I'll be going over some tips and advice for making everything just a little less horrible.

This guide may not 100% work for you and you also do not have to follow it word for word. Some of these things will also require time and effort, it's okay. This is just what I've personally done to help myself.

The Current State of Social Media

The Guide

Section 1: Built-in tools to help you avoid what you don't want to see

1. The block, mute, and unfollow buttons are powerful tools that get widely underused. I know that some people get iffy when it comes to blocking people out of fear that they will get called out or ostracized or perceived as "losing the argument". I'm here to tell you that blocking/unfollowing are awesome and you can block literally everyone for any reason. Bigot? Blocked. Annoying? Blocked. Mainly post about a show you don't hate but are just kinda tired of seeing all the time? Blocked! When you block someone, there is a good chance that they will never notice or care. If they do, well, they can't really do much about it since they're blocked. If they go on alt accounts or send their friends on you, block them too. You do not owe anyone a reason as to why you've blocked or unfollowed them.


• Twitter and I think Bluesky let you mute people, so you can have all the benefits of blocking someone without them knowing at all. If you think blocking someone will start up drama or if you just want a more temporary break from someone's posts, try muting instead.


• Do not look through accounts that you have blocked or are about to block. You do not need to justify your decision to yourself and you do not need to see if they reacted to you blocking them or see any more posts that may potentially hurt or annoy you. You blocked them because you didn't want to see what they are saying and you do not want to let them take up any more space in your mind.


• On Tumblr, people you have blocked are able to see and interact with posts on your sideblogs, blocking them only blocks them from your main blog, unfortunately.
• For whatever reason, people you have blocked on Twitter are able to see your posts still. If the situation you're in is particularly bad, try setting your account to private for a bit or move to a new one if needed.


2. Filtering and muted words are basically the block button, just with tags and words/phrases that are within the posts themselves. As far as I'm aware, there is no limit to the amount of tags/words you can have in your filter list on Tumblr, but there is a limit on Twitter. Again, you can use these for literally anything you want, even if it's not personally harmful or offensive to you Ex: I don't have any problems with FNaF, but when the movie came out, I was tired of FNaF posts clogging my feeds, so I filtered basically any references to the games and movie I've seen. Nobody will ever see this list unless you post it why anyone would do that is beyond me.


• The filtered content section on Tumblr is not perfect and it will filter posts that have words or URLs containing the word you filtered "AI" will filter posts that have the word "bonsai", for example. If the word is short or is a commonly used name, I suggest just using the tag filter for it to avoid the problem.


• Filtered posts on Tumblr will still appear, just covered with a screen that says it's filtered for using whatever tags/content is filtered, and it will give you the option to see it anyway. DO NOT PRESS THAT BUTTON. I know it's so tempting, but trust me, you will regret it every time. You have those filters in place for a reason! If you're a desktop user, the XKit Rewritten extension has an option to completely remove filtered posts from your view like how Twitter treats posts with muted words.


3. Tumblr, Twitter, and Bluesky all have features where you can have different tabs on your feed. Personally, I would probably avoid turning on the popular reblogs and trending tabs on Tumblr, and any "For you" tabs. I'm saying this because I've seen just random discourse and obvious TERF posts on Tumblr and it sucked so much I deactivated for a year, Twitter's for you page is full of bots, nazis, and nazi bots, and Bluesky's for you is like what 2015 Tumblr used to be like except everyone is 40 and is allergic to the word "fuck". Even with the filters, there's still some that slip through the cracks.


• All three platforms have custom feeds for certain niches, I suggest adding a few that you like!


4. If you're getting a lot of notifications and it's making you anxious, you have a few options. You can filter what notifications you can get, turn off all notifications for the app, set your phone on do not disturb, or delete the app and just use the site on your browser.


5. Turn off anonymous asks on Tumblr and set your accounts up to where only people you follow can message you. If you're worried about seeing spam, harassment, etc. or you are getting that stuff, this is the best option for peace of mind. If you are on other social sites, don't bother with those third-party anonymous message sites. The guestbook I have on my website may make me look hypocritical, but personal sites are not as popular as social media and I haven't had any incidents so far, so I feel ok keeping it.


• If you do find any messages you don't want to see, delete the message, filter out words or phrases if needed, and block the sender if you can. Do not respond or post about it, that is what they want.

Section 2: Other actions you can take/behaviors to avoid

1. This may seem obvious to some, but follow accounts and tags that you actually like. I know hate-following or at least constantly checking accounts of people you don't like is a thing, but occupying your mind with someone you feel negatively towards is not healthy and it won't make that person go away. If you tend to do this, block the accounts/tags you don't like and focus your attention on what makes you feel good!


2. This seems hard, but avoid looking at the comments/replies section, especially if it's a popular or controversial post. Seriously, you'll find the worst shit in an otherwise perfectly fine post. This goes for pretty much every platform, including places like YouTube. it's not worth looking at a bunch of fighting, negativity, harassment, and people with poor reading comprehension missing the point.


3. Learn to recognize when you're doomscrolling and stop it immediately. If you catch yourself just reading negative posts/comments or going through a blog that has a bunch of stuff that pisses you off, stop immediately and either switch to a tag/blog you like, or even better, log off and do something else.


• Recognize the difference between spreading awareness about an issue/resources on how to help and letting these issues consume you until you are unable to function and feel helpless and guilty for existing. The former is very helpful, but the latter is counterproductive to the cause and is only causing harm.


4. Do not engage in huge arguments or intentionally attack people. Healthy debate is alright, but when it escalates to putting others down, then it's no longer debate, it's a fight.


• And yes, this includes dunking on bigots. Doing that gives them attention and a bigger platform. Before you say that you can just screenshot the post and crop the URL out, consider that barely anyone wants to see that stuff in the first place. The best thing you can do is just assume they are a bot or a troll, and block without interacting.


• if you see that someone you follow is regularly dunking on/arguing with people, unfollow, mute, or block them or send this blog post to them if you're close enough. You'll just feel exhausted having to see all that.


5. Avoid vagueposting/subtweeting/whatever you call it. Either communicate your problems with them privately and directly, or block/unfollow them. Not only does vagueposting not do anything to solve the issue, but your mutuals/friends/followers will be worried that it's directed at them. Overall, it's just not a good way to get things done. If you need to vent or complain, talk to a friend who's down for that or get a diary a physical one, not a private account.


6. I can't believe I have to say this but making fun of people for their appearance, disability, skill level at something, style, gender, sexuality, etc., calling people slurs, misgendering people, or encouraging harmful acts is not okay, does nothing useful, and the people you follow who fall into whatever category you're making fun of will see that and get hurt. If your respect for who someone is begins and ends at just the people you like and tolerate, then you don't have respect for those people at all. If the person you're targeting is a piece of shit, focus on that and NOT their bisexuality or neopronouns or whatever oh my fucking god. I've also noticed people who will just mock someone's obvious autistic behaviors and do some weird mental gymnastics to try and justify it, please just shut the fuck up. Being autistic does not mean you have the right to be ableist to other autistic people, don't even try to use that argument.
7. Recognize what interaction bait is and how to avoid it. These are usually posts that say something like "Stop scrolling or you're _" "If you don't share this you are a horrible person" "Repost or _" "I'll notice who doesn't share this" "Mutuals have 24 hours to unfollow". These posts are designed to grab your attention and make you share by preying on your fear and shame. You can use the filtered content tool to filter posts that say "repost if" "repost or", etc. Some people on Tumblr have started tagging posts as reblog bait, so you can block tags like that too.


8. You do not need to justify why you dislike someone/something. If you don't vibe with someone, that's okay, just don't try and find any dirt on them to make your action feel like the "right thing to do". This can lead to some slippery slopes.


9. You're probably going to come across a post tearing down one or more things you enjoy and calling that "irredeemable media" or something and they'll also probably say "If you are a fan of this you are a horrible person kys". This is like a cousin to repost bait, just block this person. If you find that there is something wrong with the thing you enjoy, look into it and apply nuance. There is a difference between a show having a character be a bad person on purpose and the entire premise of the show being PragerU levels of fascist propaganda. There is no such thing as moral perfection, especially with how subjective that is, and you are allowed to enjoy things while knowing and understanding that there are parts of it that might suck or not age well. If the creator of the thing you like is a shitbag and you don't want to give them money or views, piracy is your friend.


• I miiight make a separate post about this, but I just want to add that having a character or story that shows a bad thing and doesn't explicitly paint it in a negative light is not always the creator endorsing, glamorizing, or agreeing with that stuff unless they've said so or have done things that fall in line with that stuff. That's like saying "oh this book has murder, this author clearly is a murderer." and yes there is nuance to this such as poor research/poor execution, there's nuance to literally everything it and it is ultimately YOUR responsibility to discern these types of things. I do not engage in "pro/anti" discourse. I am in my 20s and I make websites. You probably shouldn't bother engaging in that discourse either, fighting with people endlessly is useless and makes you miserable.


• If this happens to be a callout post of a public figure, look at what they're being called out for and again, use nuance. If it was like racism, SA, or zionism, yeah they fucking suck, but if it's a weird thing they said 20 years ago and they've apologized for before and have clearly changed their behavior and no longer agree with that, then it might not be a huge deal again, there might be nuance within this. I'm really trying to hammer in the nuance and thinking for yourself thing because it's a necessary tool, especially now. People change and grow and everyone has said or done things in the past that they regret. This culture of digging up things like that and acting like they're the literal devil will just make everyone feel like shit for things they used to say and wouldn't say now. Everyone is expected to be morally pure for their entire life when that's literally impossible, don't give into it.


• Again, if you've made/shared posts like this before/policed what other people are engaging with, forgive yourself, move forward, you're good.


• Again, nuance exists! If someone is being called out for huge things like abuse or leading a hate group or something then yeah, it's a good idea to not give them support. Get ready to learn how to pirate, buddy.


10. If you see a post that talks about something positively and you feel the need to share your negative experience or how much you hate that thing, STOP! Ask yourself if anyone wants to see that. Chances are, they really don't. Find a trusted friend who you can talk to or get a diary.


11. DNI/DNF lists are almost entirely useless. It is ultimately YOUR responsibility to block people that you do not want interacting with your stuff. Nobody is going to go to your blog to try to find your DNI before liking your post that randomly showed up on their feed. If they're a bigot, they're absolutely not going to follow your DNI, hell they'll probably troll you for it. The best way to handle this stuff is to block without engaging. If you tell bigots or trolls to stop, that's putting an even bigger target on your back and they'll harass you even more. Just block without saying a word.


• This also extends to stuff like Carrds/Rentry/Strawpage and similar stuff like that where people will list out all their mental disorders and triggers. DO NOT DO THIS, you will just give the trolls more ammo also you should not be giving out personal information online, especially if you're a kid! I have made a separate blog post about internet safety, please read that. Use the mute/filter tool! People are getting a lot better at tagging triggering things on socials these days.


12. Take frequent breaks from social media. If you're on it all day every day, you're gonna feel like shit no matter what you see on there. Consider setting aside at least an hour a day to do something that doesn't require a screen. You do not have to be reachable 24/7 and you can always catch up on things you might have missed. I took a walk in the middle of writing the first draft of this post, it was so nice.


13. Consider alternatives to social media platforms, like forums or making your own website. You can use these as replacements or supplements to social media. For me personally, it only took me about a couple of hours to learn enough HTML and CSS to get this site running and I've been making changes to it whenever I learn something new or if somethings bothering me.


14. Find a community of people that aren't exactly the same as you. No, I'm not saying "Be friends with racists", I'm saying be friends with people who aren't engaging in chronically online behaviors and have a wide range of experiences. You need these different perspectives to expand your mind and grow as a person.


15. People say "touch grass" for a reason. Going outside to just walk or maybe hang out with friends and family does wonders for your health. You'll notice how people in real life are not like the people you see online and the arguments and discourse that plagues Twitter is for the most part unheard of to most people.


16. If your mental health is suffering from social media and/or you have poor mental health in general, consider avoiding social media altogether. I deleted my socials awhile ago because I've noticed the overwhelming negative affects it had on me, even after trying to implement these guidelines, so I left and I feel a lot better now. Don't be afraid to deactivate! If you have friends on there, you can give them other ways to reach you. If you want to see what others are doing, try setting up an RSS feed. I recommend Feedbro since it acts as an extension/add-on in your browser and it lets you copy and paste links to pages rather than having to get files and all that shit. You'll feel weird and like you're missing out on stuff for a bit, but you get used to it eventually.